I’m struggling.

Its mad how much of a breath of fresh air this video was. 

Over the past few weeks, all last years’ decisions have caught up on me, and financially, I’m fucked. 

student-money-troublesI’m not earning enough to support my life. I didn’t even have enough money to go for my weekly shop last week. Delaying on paying bills, and the whole gamut of shit that comes along with that. 

money-troublesMy head has been melted over the past few months because I haven’t been able to operate at the speed I want to, and I’ve too many pressures on me keeping me down. Being broke kills your imagination and ability to think properly. I nearly left my business, I was that messed up in the head. (I may still do this, but consciously)

Believe it or not I’m actually excited, it’s great to realize why I’ve been struggling and gain that clarity. Now I can do something about it.

I can make a clear plan on what I want. and that is money.

 Money is important, but how much of an impact it has had on me over the past few months and the past few weeks has been a really big surprise to me.

I had always ticked along nicely. But now I’m fucked. And the thoughts of it have really crippled me.in-pursuit-of-financial-freedom-logo-2

This is a really big realization to me. Financial freedom is a big thing for me now.

ego-logoThe mad thing is, so much of the pain I’ve gone through, is my ego getting burst, and me writing this and sharing it, is such a relief.  My ego was holding me down and back, in a limited place. by not wanting to be seen as broke, I was limiting myself from moving forward. I actally felt like a fraud. How could I be talking about personal development when my life is in shit. 

But this happens every one at some time. I’ll get over it.

now it’s the digging up phase. restrictions-apply2 


I’ve been struggling with what I’ve wanted to do; I just couldn’t connect with it because I had financial pressures. Everything had to have a financial reward and that for me will never allow my fun and enthusiasm to flow. Because it has restrictions on it.


Yea speaking was interesting and Blogs and Vlogs but I couldn’t connect with it fully because I was holding myself (the real me) back because of the financial pressures I was under. I couldn’t be me because I was not free. Also on some level I wanted to be perceived (not consciously) as someone who has their shit together.  

All that any one wants is to be themselves, but our perceptions of how other people think can cripple us. This is exactly what has happened me. My B, S got in the way. ha ha. I’m glad I caught it. 

fresh-airOne of the biggest things that I’ve wanted to communicate in these videos is honesty. I genuinely am no body I’ve worked really hard learning stuff but I’m still learning and this is all part of my developmental process. Our BS can really be subtle. I never wanted to pretend to be anything else but me. But I still did. 

goldcoins_risingPlease enjoy a laugh at this, because its nuts. I’m laughing at me also.  

 Onward’s and upwards. Time to kick ass.

I want an awesome life and clearing this shit is part of it.

 

4 Replies to “I’m struggling.”

  1. Anthony, thank you for your honesty. The energy of money creates some fear and paranoid. When you said we have or we all will go through a time when we have money worries, this is true and a simple fact of life on this planet but why do we feel so all consumed by it when it does happen and also completely alone. You’re so right, money worries stifle creativity, they stifle everything, from the first rush of worry once you open your eyes in the morning to the last dash of frustration before you head to slumber. I don’t want so much of my worth and calm be equated to what I possess in my bank balance. It’s responible to pay bills and be ‘in the red’ and we all know just how rapidly things can escalate and things could get really bad. What is that statistic? We are all how close to possible homelessness at any given time. It’s good to share and to hear that others are feeling these things also, it doesn’t increase the pennies but it once again reminds us we are all on the same train. What I need to rid myself of the if onlys that being without exposable income makes me feel. I come do this, do that, no longer worry about so and so. We are where we are meant to be give or take. Thank you brother you have made me think. XxxAnthony, thank you for your honesty. The energy of money creates some fear and paranoid. When you said we have or we all will go through a time when we have money worries, this is true and a simple fact of life on this planet but why do we feel so all consumed by it when it does happen and also completely alone. You’re so right, money worries stifle creativity, they stifle everything, from the first rush of worry once you open your eyes in the morning to the last dash of frustration before you head to slumber. I don’t want so much of my worth and calm be equated to what I possess in my bank balance. It’s responible to pay bills and be ‘in the red’ and we all know just how rapidly things can escalate and things could get really bad. What is that statistic? We are all how close to possible homelessness at any given time. It’s good to share and to hear that others are feeling these things also, it doesn’t increase the pennies but it once again reminds us we are all on the same train. What I need to rid myself of the if, when’s and buts that being without money makes me feel. I could do that, do this, not worry about so and so. I actually heard myself say yesterday, I need some money to go out because I want to have fun and it’s been a struggle! Ha! The best times I’ve had I haven’t had a penny to my name! Thank you, your piece is wonderful and has made me think. Thank you brother. Xxx

    1. I’m working really hard to change my emotional state at the mo. I know I have to and the universe will respond. This is the law of attraction. So within so without. That is all I have to do. But it is so easily said…….. This is where I’m at building gratitude and attitude. 🙂

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