Re-evaluating my goals.

My plan to speak at pendulum summit got derailed, for the past few months.

I set an audacious goal, and didn’t really know what I was getting myself in for.

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Just like all goals, plan A didn’t work also plan b, c,d, and e. But now finally after trailing and fail-learning and a bit of de-motivation, I am getting the picture back of what I wanted 9 months ago.

I can see myself speaking on stage and the energy in the place being off the charts. I know the type of energy I want, because I’ve was a DJ, and I know when a place is electric. 3 or 4 thousand people, with a real drive, to be the best that they can be. Just even saying this pumps me up.

thinkbigger

I got derailed like every one, my goal was going to take a lot more effort than I thought. But that is the mark of a real goal. Something that will grow you. I had all the pieces but had no idea how long and how to put them together.

My naive assumption at the start of the year was, I’d put out a bunch of videos and get traction, and that was it. Haha. So funny now. Totally delusional. But again that is the mark of a true goal.

So, I’ve melted my own head over, and over, just like every entrepreneur, and it didn’t seem as much fun, as it originally did. It started feeling like it was going to be a lot of hard work.

Hard work

My plan originally was to do a bit of online marketing, and get a job with Pendulum Summit doing marketing, network with all the top people, and develop an opportunity that way.

What has come about, is I’ve had to start a media company, to build my own brand, which still doesn’t exist. So I’ve had to do a lot of study, and growing, than originally planned.

I started a meet up group,(The Epic Life Group) because I needed experience as an actual speaker. Yea that’s how delusional, this goal was. I fucking love it. Totally nuts.

Because I got disillusioned by the scale of things, my energy started to go, and I realized, I had a lot less time, than I originally thought. I was aiming to have all my stuff together at the end of the year, and I’d get a place to speak. But thanks to DJ and Journalist, Mark Kavanagh, I realized I had a lot less time. I actually had to get my shit together months in advance, because that is when they would finalize the lineup. Yea as I said I was delusional. Haha

Time

So through setting up the Meet-up group, that became much more interesting, and of much more value, than speaking at pendulum summit. I was getting in a small way, what I was aiming for in speaking at Pendulum.

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I said to myself, sure if I just build this group to thousands of people, I wont need pendulum.

So I carried on with that vision for a few months and had to think about growing the group, so I started reading lots of books, and marketing stuff, primarily @garyvee and today I realized, that I was struggling with my marketing message.

I realized that I had no direction, for what I was doing, I lost my north star. My vision had evaporated.

I was reading this stuff to grow the group, but to what end. It was vague and mushy.

Lost vision

Over the past few months, I had felt this vagueness, but I had no idea what it was. I went from being proactive, to just reading stuff that seemed like being productive, but it wasn’t leading anywhere.

I am reminded again, and again, that we have to have a north star, a destination, a goal because, that puts what we are doing, now, in context, and gives what we are doing, now, purpose.

north-star-filter

I was proactively lost.

I can even see it in the epic life group, I had lost that drive to grow, by being vague, and the group, I feel,could feel that too. Every bit of content I was putting out was great, but it lacked that bit of drive, and conviction, that direction. What we are all doing this for. We want epic lives, that is why, we are here, and that energy, was faltering.

doepicshit

I understand on a whole new level, the purpose of goals, so much more now. Goals are not to be attained, but they are there as tools to help you grow.

The goal itself is irrelevant, the journey is the most important thing. It is who you become as a result of your journey, that is most important. But! the goal gives you direction.

This goal has gone from being something fun, to something much more serious, it is now become a mark of my growth, as a man, a person, as a person who can make a difference, to his own life, and as a result the people around him.

The goal has gone from being a selfish one, to one that I hope will empower others.

Get over myself

I know now, that I am mad late, on speaking at pendulum, but miracles happen every day.

I am re-energized, and clear again on what I want to do, and why. We all go through these processes. If you are to take one thing away from this, is just keep going, keep moving forward, and things will become clear eventually.

Clear Vision Clear Reults

If  I had have stopped, I would not have a second chance now, and I gave myself that second chance.

Second chances

My energy and clarity is back.

I see myself in the Dublin Exhibition Center speaking to 3 thousand people, and bringing them on a journey that empowers the fuck out of them. I see the place going nuts, for themselves, because they will see how far, they have come, through my story.

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If I can be so delusional, and keep going, so can anyone. I can tell you now, I am 100% a better person for all the effort I have put in. Win, loose, or draw I have grown, and that is the real purpose of goals.

Feel awesome2

I can not go back to who I was, and one way or another, I am going to have better things because of this.

I look forward to meeting you on our Epic Journey’s

 

My Chronic Fatigue Story

Chronic-FatigueOver the past 10 years I’ve struggled with chronic fatigue and Fibromyalgia I have
tried every treatment and therapy known to man, but no success. That’s I because I was looking in the wrong place for the solution to my issue.

This crept up on me gradually, bit by bit, I had to go back to bed, more and more each day. First I went to the doctor, and that was of no use. Then I went to Nutritionists, Dietitians, Naturopaths, Ayurveda, you name it i did it. I started doing course after course, and I kept getting worse and worse. At the height of it I could barely work, I was completely dependent, on my parents, to survive. I was only functional for a few hours a day.

bernarr-macfadden-fighting-disease-with-vitalityI have noticed a pattern with clients. We are very alike, different races, creeds and body types, but we have one key trait that shines through it all. We all have ambition, but unfortunately we are hindered by our energy levels. We get frustrated, stressed, and this just compounds the whole matter. We are driven, but that drive is actually what Is causing the problem.

As I have worked through my own stuff I’ve gone to 100’s of experts in lots of different fields searching for the solution. I was always looking externally to myself what chemical what imbalance what cure can I get for this.

fibromyalgia-1What I have found is that Chronic Fatigue is the result, but not the cause. It is the result of a whole chain of things. If your look at the result, not the cause you will never find a solution, because your looking completely in the wrong place.

Let me explain this in a slightly abstract way. Imagine one million years ago when we were walking around the jungle and a big animal jumps out to attack us, we go sprinting as fast as we can, this is the fight or flight response, or stress. Our bodies are really smart and because we need all our energy and physical resources to go to our muscles, our body shuts down non essential parts of our bodies, like our digestive system, when stressed. The person gets away and then relaxes and his body returns to normal.

hqdefaultThere are no dangers like that in our lives, but we still have the same system operating in the background. Our body doesn’t know the difference between an animal and work stress or the stress of having to pay bills. where do people get butterflies when they are about to get up on stage?

The problem is we are in a constant state of stress every day. Stress going to work, stress in work, stress coming home and stress on the news. We are in a constant state of stress so our bodies do not normalize anymore.

If our digestive system is constantly not fully engaged then we have food that sits in our digestive system, and causes irritation, then we develop food intolerance’s. Because it is not fully turned on, we don’t absorb the right nutrients. We are in a heightened state of alertness, so we are burning more and more vitamins, at the exact time we are not absorbing them! We are running our engines with little or no oil, to keep it in peak performance. On top or all that because we are tired we tend to want more calorie rich food like chocolate sugar and carbs, but these again are not going to replace what we need. On top of that again we drink caffeine which literally turns on our stress hormones (adrenaline) to boost our energy which adds more pressure on a completely exhausted system.

Do you see where this is going? So we are running on empty, not just empty but on a deficit. We are running ourselves into the ground.

But all of that stress started in our perceptions of what was going on! It all started in our decisions about what is going on in our world. Everything chases back to our thoughts, options, and decisions. They either stress us out or not!

This is why my blog is called Health Starts In The Mind because everything in our lives starts in our mind. Our thoughts create our reality.

FibromyalgiaThis had a cascade effect in my body as I got more stressed, I thought more how to fix it, as I through more how to fix it, I got more stressed. Bit by bit my body started to shut down and the external effects of my thought patterns started to show up. I was getting more tired and sleeping more, but not getting a proper rest, then because of inactivity, my legs and back started to ache. So I started to look at what was making me tired and sore. But that was the wrong place. I had to take control of my thoughts.

HealthSo what changed? I got pissed off really pissed off I realized that I’d have to figure this out myself.  Bit by bit I worked through my food intolerance’s and worked on upping my nutrition by eating better foods. But I would only get so far, I’d improve then my stress levels would catch up with my health, and I’d start going downhill again. Then I really started to change how I perceived the world. I started to really delve into how my mind worked. I started to learn how reality worked and started to change that for the better. HealthyThe more I worked on my thoughts the more I de-stressed the more I de-stressed the more energy I had. I learnt how to focus on what I wanted not what I didn’t want. I wanted to be full of energy and enthusiasm. Reading about sickness only made me stressed, and as a result sick.

I’ve noticed over and over that people who have chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia ME and depression, are all smart people with ambition. Any of the ones that heal all have a moment where they say no more! They call it rock bottom, where they decide what they are doing isn’t working, and it’s time to do something else. To start thinking differently!

Today I’m one of the healthiest people you will meet. I do get tired but that is because I do too much. but I regulate it way better now and i work with my body. I don’t stress about it i just do what is right for me and move on. Nice and easy.

Let me ask you what do you want? Do you want to be “not sick” or full of “Vitality and H



ealth”? I know what I want. So what are you going to change today?

The way the world works. Love yourself and your life.

success-perception-vs-realityOur perceptions rule the roost. But our perceptions are very flexible. There is no good or bad, just what is. One person in a car crash will say “it was the best thing that ever happened me, because it made me realize that life is short”, and you already know what the other person will say.

If you imagine a chair, what makes it a chair? What defines it as a chair? Is it the shape or what it’s made out of? If I asked you what it was? You could answer, it is wood or whatever it’s made out of, and you would 100% right, Or atoms or energy. But all these are just words that depict a story. The word chair creates a story which is “something you sit on” but what is it really. What if some art student has it in their house, it’s painted a different colour to all the rest of the chairs in the house, it has a lamp on it, and it’s beside their bed. What would it be then? What if they walked over and took the lamp off and sat down. The story of the chair would change from bedside table to chair to what ever next. So the story is completely flexible.

In reality that chair is not just a chair. It can be something to stand on, or to put things on. Its uses are infinite, but because of the word chair it becomes limited, the story constrains our imagination. What is a chair to a baby? Well up until its big enough, it’s something to hold on to so it can walk.

I now see everything in two layers one is what vocabulary-chair-coloring-page-printablethe chair really is (pure energy and imagination) and the other is the story we bestow on it. They are two completely separate things. One is in our heads and the other is out there in reality.

Imagine if we put a pen in a baby’s face, what that is to the baby? It does not know that it is a pen, it sees that pen and when we take it away that pen ceases to exist, it vanishes, because there is no word pen in the babies head no understanding. Then through conditioning us repeating the word pen over and over then the baby realizes that that shape is called a pen, it then keeps a picture of the pen in its mind and it starts to exist there, then the story grows as the baby grows, I can make marks with the pen, then the story grows again, there are two types of pens, pens and pencils. This is all inside the mind of the child if that story didn’t exist in the child’s mind, they would never know what that was, it would cease to exist in their reality.

abracadabra_by_mandapandar-d6hp85jWords crate our reality. Why is a chair a chair? Because we say it is, no other reason. So what does that mean for your reality? Can you rewrite it? What does that mean for you? are you your name? Are you your story? would different people have different perspectives (stories) on your life

AbracadabraIf words create your reality, what does that mean for language? Does your language create your reality? We have a part of our brain called the amygdala that filters reality for us based on our experiences and thoughts. What does that mean though, how is that practical?  I prefer to make this way simpler our amygdala filters reality based on our words.

No RedGreat coloursLet’s run an experiment. Say out loud a colour you don’t want to see, lets pick red, so say out loud, over and over, no red, no red, no red, what do you see? Of course you see red, when you were talking about what you didn’t want, did you see what you wanted? What would happen if you started saying a colour you did want what would happen?

Our words are like lenses if you say cat your amygdala filters reality for cats, and so on, but if you talk about what you do not want your filtering reality for that also.

So you get more of what you talk about!! That is huge, what do you talk mostly about?

Positive and negativePositive and negative language. Imagine saying “I must be more positive” “I must be more positive” “I must be more positive”! How does that statement feel to you? Does it feel positive or does it feel like your beating yourself over the head. The intention is positive, but the execution is not. How many times have we all had good intentions that have backfired on us? What is that person really saying when they are saying I must be more positive? What they are really saying is “I’m not positive” “I’m not positive”, “I’m not doing it right”, “I’m not good enough”. They are beating themselves up with words. How many times a day do we all do this?

i-think-i-like-who-i-am-becomingHow does this feel? I’m becoming more and more positive every day. It feels so much nicer and truer, because we are all learning and growing each day. That word, “must”, created a whole different feeling.

I’ve shifted from saying positive and negative because the terms are too abstract the real meaning of positive and negative is love and fear. If you Love-Greater-Than-Fear-mailer-frontlook at the term “must” Is a fear word it is imposed upon you by your teacher, boss, or torturer! You must do this or you will be punished, it diminishes your self-esteem, because it is imposed upon you, and you are not seen as equal.

i_like_who_i'm_becoming-771632 Whereas if you say the word “becoming” is an internal word a word that has growth to it, it sees you as completely capable, to be whatever you want. I am becoming an astronaut (I want to), rather than I must be an astronaut (I have to). So when we use the word becoming, we are building our self-esteem because we are in charge of our destiny. Becoming is a love word it is loving yourself.

There are many other fear based words should must have to don’t can’t and many other love based words. The remarkable thing is that all the fear based words are not true and diminish self-esteem whereas all love based words are true and build self-esteem.

Fear is the number one negative term but does it exist? If we look at the chair example again, when we use the word chair, that story limits our imagination, and gives us the impression that it is a solid and permanent thing. But in reality it is a constantly changing thing that is degrading and changing its use all the time. It is completely flexible. But the word and associated story is not flexible. It is a chair and it is for sitting on! End of story! The word fear gives us the same feeling that it is sold and exists. but can you point to fear can you touch it?

If fear is not real how come we feel it? If you go to the cinema to see a scary movie do you get scared? Why is that? We have an imagination and we can imagine ourselves in many different situations, but because our imagination is soo good we can also scare the pants off ourselves.

Worry-fearFear is a misuse of the imagination. It is an emotional response to an imaginary situation. a projection of ourselves in the future. So it is not real now.

Did you notice how the two terms felt? Fear, and emotional response to an imaginary situation. The word fear feels much more solid and real, like its immovable and it actually stops the flow of your imagination. I’ve got a fear. yes you do, boom done you’re screwed. Whereas if you use the term emotional response to an imaginary situation, it feels so much more flexible, it actually gives you the answer to the situation. Imagine something else. the more effective language allows your energy (emotions and imagination) to flow.

fear-is-not-real-its-a-product-of-thought-we-create-but-doI’m sure your head is starting to spin now, and your starting to ask about danger. Fear is imaginary, danger isn’t. But we have to look at this in an abstract way. If you are standing on the side of a busy road waiting to cross are you in danger? Sure you are but if you’ve done it enough you trust the situation will turn out ok. So you actually don’t think about it at all, and just deal with what is presented to you. So you’re in danger but not in fear. Could a hypnotist make you fearful in that situation would you be in any more danger?

If you imagine the same situation, but now with a 3 year old kid, who is a bit unpredictable, what do you do? You fear that the kid may run out so you take charge of the situation and hold the kids hand.

Lack-of-faith-quote-muhammad-aliI used two very important words there. Fear and trust / faith. When we feared that the kid “could” (imaginary) we did not trust him, but we trusted ourselves, when we took charge of the situation, by holding the kids hand. So what is fear really? Fear is really is lack of self-trust / belief.

This is huge! Imagine the sneaky word Fear had us looking at this external solid feeling thing. It had us looking in the wrong direction all the time. Now that we know its self-trust / belief what difference does that make?

What would happen if you focused on all the successes in your life? Even as little as crossing the road. Would you start to feel better about yourself? What would happen if you started to imagine, things going well for you, or even great, what would happen? would you be loving yourself then?

So many people struggle with loving themselves! Why is that? Would it be as simple as the language we use?

What would happen if we actually started speaking the truth about ourselves?

What do you mean the truth?

self-esteemIf you use fear based language it’s always in the future, don’t spill the water, I can’t do that, it always sees you or the other person as not capable. I expect you to spill the water so don’t, I expect I am not able to do that.

What would happen if we said the same things but using loving language? Put the glass on the table. It sees you as capable of getting the water to the table, make sure you get the water in your mouth. Or I can do that, but I really do not want to put the effort in. Each time you see yourself and the other person as completely capable of doing what ever, and it is 100% true.

The really mad thing is all negative fear based language, can be instantly negated. If someone says, I can’t go to the moon. You can instantly say if you had enough money you could. I can’t run a marathon, I’ve no legs! Do it in a wheel chair, invent some legs.

All positive loving statements are 100% true and can’t be argued with. I can run a marathon, but I couldn’t be arsed. I can get to the moon but it’s something that doesn’t interest me at this time. each time your telling the truth and not putting yourself down.

I love myselfSo how do you love yourself? Start talking about what you want, what you can do, and all the successes in your life. Even if it is just tying your shoe. you will be telling the truth.

If you talk about what you want, and what you can do? What will you notice more of in your life. Will your energy and enthusiasm improve? If you keep at that for long enough for it to be come your way of being, how will your life change.

From now on your either talking about what you don’t want, or what you do want, it is your choice! you can either love yourself by saying, i can, or i cant either way your literally creating your reality because your reality is the words you use.

 

What fear really is.

Fear.Fear

FEAR

FEAR!

Fear is a tricky thing to deal with. But once examined it becomes nothing more than a thought that passes in the night.

What is fear? Fear as a term is too abstract, to intangible to be able to put anything Fear is the mind killersolid on it, to figure a way around. If you had a road block you figure out another direction. But with fear its nebulous thing that actually pops up in your way whichever way you turn.

The word fear makes us believe it’s a thing like a chair but it’s not. It is a made up word to represent the result of something not the actual cause. By looking at the result all the time you are blinded to the cause.

I now see fear on a spectrum. One end you see the word fear and on the other end you see the word trust.

Let’s take an example. People have a fear of flying, but what is that. How many people a year die from flying? fear-of-flyingNot many in the grand scheme of things. Where did that fear come from? Planes are only around the past 100 years. Did someone invent it? That sounds mad that someone would invent it, but the really mad thing is that it was invented. Somebody had to come up with a medical term for it. Aviophobia is the term. Who came up with that and who was the first person diagnosed with it what was it called before it was Aviophobia?

Why are people afraid of flying and not of cookers? More people each year die from cooker related stuff. The mad thing is people are often afraid of planes and have never been on one. Yet everyone has used a cooker, been burnt, not once but many times, and you are 100% guaranteed to get burnt again. So what’s the difference?

Why do you get scared when you go to the cinema and see a scary movie? You know walking in that it’s fake, it’s not real, but you get carried away and get scared anyway? Why is that? It’s because we have imaginations. We can imagine ourselves in that position and how we would feel if something was going wrong. Is that situation real? Why do we get a real response? Because in our minds reality and fantasy are no different.

So what is happening when people have a fear of flying? Are they simply just imagining themselves in a compromised position? Are they fantasizing about something going wrong?

Being-Awesome-takes-practiceHow would they feel if they started imagining everything being awesome? Would that start to make them feel good?

Either way they are playing a story in their head, that is dis-empowering them, or empowering them but it is just a story!

Just to be clear what is a story? A story is something that is made up or imaginary and can be changed at any time. If someone decided to do some hypnotism on a poor unfortunate victim would he be able to make that person afraid of cookers? How does he do that? How he does that is by implanting a story in that persons head that cookers are dangerous.

Where are fears? Fears are always in the future they may be seconds away but none the less they are in the future.

Dark alleySo what happens when we walk down a dark alley at night, and we start to get scared? What is happening there? Are we imagining a good future or a bad one, based on what evidence? All we have is a dark alley? And we heard that someone some time somewhere got mugged? But are you in danger? Or are you imagining it?

Hopefully you’re seeing a pattern now fears are imaginary and a story that we are telling ourselves.

So why are they so dis-empowering? Because we believe them! It’s really that simple.

So let’s flip the whole thing let’s stop looking at fears altogether, and start looking at people who are fearless.

Fear of heightsWe have all seen people who are not afraid of heights, why is that? Quite often they are people who have worked on ladders or done rock climbing or something to that effect? So why are they fearless? Is it because they are familiar with heights? To a large degree yes but that is still looking at the result not the cause. They know it’s dangerous yet they still do it. The fear doesn’t seem to exist?
Let’s go back to the alley. Would a person who has a black belt in some martial art, be as afraid as you or I, walking through that alley? Probably not. Why is that? Would you say this person has more confidence? What is confidence? Confidence is self-trust. That black belt trusts himself and his skills to keep him safe, so in that situation he actually won’t even think about any danger until something presented itself.

Like the people who are not afraid of heights they trust themselves they trust that Self Trustthey are going to be safe because experience tells them that. This is the true cause of fear. People do not trust themselves or life because of the stories they tell themselves.

It is the same with you, and a cooker. You have enough trust in yourself, that you will be ok. You may get burned, but you will deal with that when it happens. The danger is there but I trust myself that I will be able to deal with it when it arises. So there is no point in thinking about it now.

So what is fear really fear is really an external representation of your own lack of self-trust? So what’s the solution? Its simple learn to trust yourself look at all the times you have overcome some issue or another. How many dangerous roads have you crossed with no incident what so ever. Look at how much you have survived already. The evidence is overwhelming that you’re going to be alright. So why do I still feel fearful? Basically because the news fills you full of fear full stories and your friends tell you about how they do not trust themselves and fill us full of their fears. So you have to practice every time you feel bad, laugh and say gees I got caught up in that story. If you put your effort into all the things your already good at you will trust yourself more and more.

So what is the result of trust? Success isSelf trust is the first secret to success. the result of trust. Can you think of any wealthy happy or powerful person who doesn’t trust themselves? They all believe in themselves that is the only thing they do differently.

So go to places and do things that build your self-trust push your capabilities don’t face your fears don’t even bother with them. Tell yourself the story that you want and play it over and over. If you’re afraid of heights stand Visualize yourself being perfectly comfortable in that situation then go stand on high things until you completely trust yourself in those situations.I Love Me

Where is fear when you’re visualizing an empowering story? It simply doesn’t exist.

Would trusting yourself be loving yourself?

How we learn, develop habits, and fill ourselves full of enthusiasm.

I used to beat myself up for not being perfect first time I did anything. I was shown how to do something, surely I should be able to do it right? I’d go off into a mental spin of self criticism, essentially saying I’m not good enough, useless and stupid.

Someone forgot to tell me how we actually learn things. I now see habits and Learning in the same way. It’s like a skipping stone on the water. The stone hits the top of the water and bounces up and then skips along the top of the water, quicker and quicker and quicker, until it eventually slows down and sinks in.

We all learn and develop habits in the same way. We get it, forget it and get it, forget it again and again, but each time the sequence is happening faster and faster, then eventually it sinks in.skipping_sonte

Some people do learn faster, but that may be due to them practicing something similar in their life. Either way there is no point in thinking about it.

Just focus on what you can learn now and how you can improve. All of the beating myself up just demotivated me, and now I just don’t think about doing it wrong, I just focus on how I can do it better.

Which way of thinking do you think is more effective, enjoyable, and enthusiastic? Ultimately what was the original point of beating ourselves up? Surely to get it right, so we can enjoy ourselves.

One way (beating ourselves up) demotivates us. The other way (focusing on what we actually want) motivates us.

So why beat ourselves up when we can just focus on learning and doing it right.

Have a day full of enthusiasm.

Happiness is a choice

Happiness is a state.

happy-baby-turtle-is-happy

You can be happy all the time.

Imagine you lost a leg in an accident. Instantly you go that’s bad, but because everything can be interpreted any way we like we can actively look for the positive in the situation. Maybe you get financial aid for the rest of your life, now you can’t get conscripted to the army, now you get the best parking spaces, and people become more respectful.As you grow your awareness you become less attached to things and outcomes. You stop defining them as good or bad you realise that they are just what they are.

Now I agree I would never give up my leg for any of these things. But what if that accident woke you up to life and you stated living life to its fullest. Over time you would start to appreciate that accident.

We have all heard this story before and we have all heard the opposite story where someone blames the accident for everything that has gone wrong in their life.

We get what we decide to look for. Be that good or bad in every situation. But in reality the accident was just an accident it was just a thing that happened like bouncing a ball. It wasn’t good or bad it was just what we attached to it that made it that way. Dogs love bouncing balls because they attach something positive to them. We probably couldn’t care less.

By knowing this we become un-attached to the thing or the outcome we know it is neither good or bad it is just what it is.

Be Happy

Now happiness becomes a choice. We can choose how we feel at all times. We can SEE the negative, but still be happy because the external world does not define our internal world.

What do you choose to be?

I want more self belief / self esteem.


On day 1. We said the most important thing in life is going for what you want.

Day 2. What is my purpose?

Day 3. Becoming happy.

Day 4. Money Money Money monaaaay monaaay.

And now day five.

As we discovered in day 4 our self belief governs everything in our lives, our self image, our health, our job, our wealth, our fun, our purpose.This originally started off as a single post

quote-a-strong-positive-self-image-is-the-best-possible-preparation-for-success-in-life

, then 3 and now 5 and has taken me a week to write, an enjoyable week at that.

Here is the biggest most powerful tip in the world ever ever ever, because this is the gateway to everything in your life. YOU CAN CHANGE ANY BELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can change yourself image you can change the belief, I am no good, I’m stupid or I’m not good enough, you can change any belief and view yourself any way you want!

We have all met what we would call ugly or stupid people, who love themselves and are doing great. Maybe it’s a boss or a fat guy with a model girl friend and we say to our selves, what does he have that I don’t? It’s simple they just believe in themselves, they believe they are good enough to be in the position they are in. They probably look at you like you’re a nut for not going for what you can achieve.

The negative self image you may have, in your head, is your choice to hold on to, you can choose to change it and it’s really easy to change.

It has taken me years and years to actually realise this, our self image is just something we believe, like a wrong fact, we believe it until we decide to look for the evidence to then contrary.

How many times have you had debates with friends about a fact and defended it until your blue in the face then went to Google and found out they were right your belief around that fact instantly changed the second you got enough evidence.

How many complements have you gotten where as soon as they say something nice you instantly say they must be exaggerating, they just feel sorry for me because they know I’m not good enough, they must be mad or just basically put yourself down.

Have you seen other people do this to themselves?

ItsNotWhoYouARE-e1367856687981

Next time say thank you and actually think about it for a second. They must mean it otherwise why would they waste their energy. Maybe you’re doing a better job than you thought?

Think about it where else should you feel good about yourself?

This action is our self image governing its self, that is governed by our beliefs and a feeling of lack (not good enough)

But we can change all of this negative self talk.

Bit by bit day by day you just start to focus on what you are good at and what you like. Imagine that you have something that partially blinds you a lens over your eyes so that you can only see what it allows you to see. That is how yourself belief works. It works in the background constantly blinding you to how great you can be. But it is only a rusty lens that has, over time, been stuck in the wrong position. So now you have to go and work on it manually (consciously) by writing down a list of at least 20 items, you are good at, so you can oil the lens and get it moving again and see the full picture. (It has to be 20 because it’s hard and gets your brain to strain)

positive-self-talk

I was so convinced, I was no good at anything, and I could not come up with any ideas. My belief was, I am no good at ANYTHING, so my brain stopped looking after it hit that belief, it had no reason to it was fact, or so I thought. I believed that so strongly that I was completely blind to anything good about myself. I really had to work on it. Eventually I realised I’m good at lots of stuff but I had to start with really small things like dressing myself. I’ve been doing that OK for years?

Those few questions opened up a completely new world to me. I have a complete 180 degree turn now.

Imagine this: you woke up at your usual time in the morning and decided rather than going through your day moaning about how tired you are and how you want to stay in bed. They may be facts but essentially you can’t do anything about them, you have to go to work. So let’s look at it a different way now. Let’s start to look at all our achievements that we don’t appreciate any more. I’m going to be a bit pedantic, just to show you fully how much we can start to appreciate our selves. When did you learn to dress yourself, when you’re five? You have been doing that and feeding yourself for quite some time, you have learned to brush your teeth, drive your car pass school, maybe even college, maybe even climbed a mountain or rode a bike.

How many times a day do you play those successes over and over in your head?

How do you feel now that you have read some of those things and started thinking about all the stuff you have accomplished? Do you feel a bit better than you did before? Why do you feel better? Is it because for a minute you stopped berating yourself for all the things you did wrong today and focused on what you are doing well.

Imagine if you did that every day? How good would you feel, would you have a different opinion about yourself? I’m sure you would and it would be 100% true.

Everybody spends too much time focusing on what they did wrong and too easily forgets what they did right.

What we focus on we get more of, the more we focus on what we did right, the happier and more belief we will develop in ourselves and by proxy make more money because we will be happy and doing what we do to the best of our abilities.

Do you think the people at the top focus on the mistakes they made or do they build on the successes they have?

To summarize: money is a tool but that tool represents our belief in ourselves and that belief can be changed by focusing on what we are good at and the more we focus on our successes the more of them we get. So bit by bit day by day, all you have to do is practice and you will get all your desires.

But what happens when you’re going for your desires and focusing on what your good at? Does life seem a little brighter does it become more bearable, would you be enjoying life because you know good stuff is happening? I think so! If you’re happy, are you a better person to be around, I’m pretty sure you are, so as a result you’re making the world happy by proxy. As they say enthusiasm is infectious so is happiness.

If you have read all five posts I’m sure you have come full circle now and probably know what you want. You probably want to work on yourself belief, but what is the best way of doing this?Achievement

Actually the best way of doing this is going for what you really want. You want the cars, houses, holidays, fun, love and most importantly of all to help people. You just want to get your beliefs sorted so you can get down to the business of what you really want. But by going for what you really want, the beliefs that are directly in the way of you achieving your goals come up.

You might say I want a car, then instantly you get a, yea but, I don’t have any money, that is the most direct belief that has held you back. At that point you get to work on yourself and ask the questions how have I made money in the past? Could I make more money and have fun doing it? Could I get a raise in work? Then getting a raise becomes your new goal. I get a raise then I get my car. Then as soon as you decide that you get another belief in the way, but I’m not good enough to get a raise. Now we apply our awareness to that belief and we ask ourselves how can I get good enough? Am I good enough already and just don’t know it? Could I ask someone what to do? And so on. What if you just decided to turn up to work with a more positive upbeat attitude? How good will you feel? Can you see how by moving forward we automatically become better people, it is that drive forward that breaks down all the negative walls that stop us. so many people spend year in therapy looking for problems in their past but are never moving forward so they go over and over their problems never getting anywhere.

The most important thing is to take action and deal with each block as they come up not to go looking for them.
achievement-cropped

So by working on your goals you get to work on your beliefs and bit by bit your awareness grows and you start building yourself belief in the most effective way.

all it is practice, we have all practised the negative way long enough, now it’s time to practice the way that works for you and everyone else.

I hope you feel more in control and want to take on the world.

it would be great to hear your thoughts and also if you read all five days.

Thank you.

I want more money

As we said in the previous posts it is our purpose to go for what makes us happy and what makes us happy is going for what we want.

Dollars funnel.

We looked at how to start defining what you want.

BUT!!! Most people are blinded by one thing, MONEY!!!

We all want more money, but why do we want it? it’s just a piece of paper… right?

Actually people never want more money; they want the security it brings, the things it brings, or the freedom it represents. I definitely want money for these reasons.

However money in and of its self does not bring happiness. So many people think it does. But it’s what you do with money that is the real fun, going on jet skis, meeting up with friends, going to clubs and buying new cars.

But what we do for money often isn’t as much fun. So if we look at our experiences working for money rarely gets us what we really want and to be honest working harder at what we are doing isn’t really attractive enough to warrant the extra money it will bring. So we get caught in this trap of wanting money and not wanting to do our job (Just Over Broke)

I’m sure you have had this thought, I have many times, when I get a bit more money, I will have the money to think about what I want. Can you see how you will never get what you want by thinking this? On one hand your trapped by not wanting to work more because you do not enjoy your job and on the other hand you are not allowing your self to think about fun stuff because you have no money. Loose loose.

What can we do differently?

Be A Fun Mum

First and foremost we have to stop looking at money as the thing we want, it blinds us to what we really want.

When you decide what you want, like a car, a house or more holidays, money then follows automatically. Its mad but I’ll prove it.

By wanting a house you may notice an opportunity to win one or build one or some opportunity that I cannot even imagine, but you start seeing opportunities.

The money follows automatically because you have set a target a reason to work harder or think differently, you start to generate ideas, it gets your imagination fired up and as a result your enthusiasm grows, you start to have a reason to work, it makes your job a bit more enjoyable. It’s mad but it’s true. I’m sure you have done this many a time, when you decided to go on holidays. oh I need a bit more spending money? I definitely have.

So the desire for the thing automatically creates more money in your life, because you are more enthusiastic about life.

having-fun-with-friends

What if you decided to think outside the box and ask a different question altogether. What if you wanted a job that was fun? That also made you money? What if you decided, I want a job that was fun that was rewarding, would you automatically turn up on time and be a great employee, would you get a raise for being such a good employee?

Money is just a tool to get what you want. Money follows what you want to do in life; it follows your enthusiasm, never ever the other way around.

Try it now ask yourself some questions and brain storm ideas. What sorts of jobs are there out there that are fun? What do I enjoy already? The more of these sorts of questions we ask the better the answers we will get.

There are people making lots of money doing crazy stuff, from wood work to selling stuff for amazon.com, to life coaches and playing guitar. You can make lots of money doing anything. I know people who love ironing and make extra cash ironing. (nut-cases) I’d sooner coach someone, but we are all different.

So How much fun and enthusiasm do you want in your life?   having-fun-25 

Look at this cop.

These are the facts about money it is only a tool, like a hammer. You use a hammer to hammer in nails when you’re building a house, you use money to pay someone to hammer in those same nails if you don’t have those skills. It is neither good or bad it is just a tool. You can use it to kill someone, just like a hammer, or you can use it to build a shelter, to save some one.

This is the human bit though. We tie money to survival, because we do need it to live. But this is where money starts getting tied to our beliefs. Money represents how we value our selves. We have all been in a situation in work where we say I’m worth more than this boring job, paying me next to nothing, for all the work I’m doing. But then we say, I’m no good at anything else, so I won’t get money, or a good paying job elsewhere. Generally this sort of statement is made because people don’t believe in themselves, which is a representation of their self worth. Basically I’m not good enough. So the less you are paid the less you value your self (as long as you are not enjoying your job, if you do enjoy it your getting paid in enjoyment)

Tomorrow how to build self belief and self worth.

Being Broke Kills the Imagination. Day 5

Day 5 of my 30 day blogging challenge.

The perfect day exercise, threw up more surprises that one expected.

Two really big things came out of doing this exercise.

1. I realised that being broke or in debt is a feeling that holds your imagination back. think

Over the past few years I’ve been in college, so I haven’t had a lot of cash to really plan out anything. So gradually bit by bit, I’ve stopped looking forward with excitement and actually I’ve gone the other way. I’ve started looking forward with trepidation because, I would be worrying about how am I going to pay for this, or that. Actually I’ve stopped planning or imagining fun stuff because of money. I’m really surprised to see this, as in the past I would have been very spontaneous and I had always seen myself this way. It is a bit of a painful eye opener to see that gradually I’ve regressed into a poverty mentality.

I am quite lucky to have had experiences in the past where I did have a lot of financial freedom. If i did not have those experiences in the past i probably would not have realised the difference between my thinking now and then. It would have been normal for me to think this way so why would I challenge the thought.

That realisation really got me in the gut. It was a real deep fearful feeling of oh S@**t I could have been stuck with that mentality without ever knowing any better.

The funny thing is I have plenty of money to do what I want, I blow loads of small cash on junk. I just developed the mentality of I don’t have enough. Total poverty mentality. All I need to do is decide on a thing I want to do in the future and keep track of my daily spending until I get it.

2. It takes effort to break out of it.

The moment I read the exercise, I instantly thought, I don’t really like anything enough to put into a perfect day. How limiting is that mentality. What it was really saying is, I don’t have the money to do what I want to do, so I won’t think about it for fear of feeling unhappy with my situation.

If I’d have taken those thoughts at face value, I would have done nothing. Luckily I wanted to finish this 30 day challenge, so I thought to write down anything I liked at all, maybe I’ll come up with some stuff.

Through writing down anything and everything I like, I soon realised that I was holding myself back, from having more fun in my life.

I was blinded by the belief that I had no money, to get what I want. How many people are blinded by this very thing? Only by taking the time and putting in the effort into this exercise did I get to see this belief.

This exercise also confirmed another idea I’ve been brewing for a while. It is only through action that you can progress. Only by doing this exercise did I get to see this belief. If I just went with my initial thoughts, I would not be writing this post, I would have quit. Only by getting the task down on paper, did it become obvious that I had an issue, that I needed to be resolved.

Action solves all problems. (Eventually)

The big lesson I’ve learned from this, is that I’ve to become a lot more conscious of my spending and start planning for a more exciting future.track-money-online

A perfect day for me would be waking up with purpose, feeling energised @ 6 or 7 in the morning. I’d wake up with excitement for the day, because, I know, I have a lot of great things planned. First I will read my goals and get pumped, I’ll write a blog post and send it out, I’ll look at the stats on my blog for the previous day and see that my blog has grown. I’ll read a few comments that where left and get a great feeling that I’m making a difference to a few people’s lives. I’ll finish up my blogging and business building tasks by 12. Knowing that I’ve added something good too the world.

In the afternoon I’ll be meeting up with a friend to go for a hike or a cycle in the mountains, to take advantage of this beautiful sun. My friend, who is as equally as ambitious as me, feed off each other’s enthusiasm for life and come away from the experience energised and

adventure-travel-india

looking forward to our next adventures.

In the evening, I will be planning my trip to India where I will be doing a lot of exploration as well as self exploration. india_culture 

If this post sparks any thoughts feel free to leave some comments.

Thanks.

Thriving not surviving, day 4

I got asked a question today by Nattily Sission “what is my definition of location independence?”

Well I feel that I have two answers to her question.

Internal freedom and external freedom.Freedom

1. Is based on self reliance.
2. Is based on thriving where ever I am.

Part one: To put it simply we are already location independent.

I want to point out is that anyone that is looking at a travelling lifestyle, or location independent one, can already do that and probably already has, they Just call it a holiday.

Yay you have location independence.

People are already location independent they just don’t realise it.

All they need is to realise is that once you decide on something you can make it happen. If you want to go travelling, do it, just put a plan in place and make it happen.

However, the flip side to this is most people feel trapped and don’t want to think about breaking free, through fear of what might happen.

People (especially in the western world) don’t realise how free they actually are. But fear keeps them bound to their jobs and in their towns and cities.

If you look at the big picture of your life and in a factual (not fearful) way, you realise that you are alive and that you have overcome every obstacle life has thrown at you. You have adapted and overcome all your issues up until now. That’s a pretty cool achievement.

I’m hoping your feeling a bit more optimistic about yourself. Do you feel more free? Do you feel you can go anywhere and do anything? I hope so! Because whether you believe it or not you can do it.

So to summarise that motivational rant: If you feel self reliant you can do or go anywhere and survive. So I am already location independent.

Part two: is about thriving not surviving. I could go to Australia tomorrow and get a job that I barely survive at. But I want to go and do what I want to do, from where ever I want.

I think this is a more effective question. What does it mean to me, to do what I love, from where ever I am? Now we are getting somewhere.

What it means to me is to have fun at whatever I’m doing, whilst making a great living and helping others to do the same. My goal in life is to make people feel powerful in themselves. I can do that by blogging or talking to them face to face. So as far as my life goal is concerned I’m global already by having this blog.

However, I want to travel more. I want to see it all and do it all. So this is where my challenges come in. I want to start earning money from my blogging and other activities so that I can travel the world doing what I love. This is personal freedom and location freedom, internal and external, the whole package.

So to answer Nattily’s question. My definition of location independence is, having the attitude and abilities to thrive from where ever I am in the world.

Thank you.

If you like it leave a comment, if not leave one too
🙂